Strange Apes

Monkey Bar 4Do you ever just stop and think about what strange apes we are?  Sometimes it really just baffles me, that apes have built cities and roads and office buildings and computers, and we put on clothes and drive in cars to work where we complete tasks in exchange for money that we can use to purchase food from the other side of the planet and it all just works.  What an awesome world we’ve constructed, and yet I can’t help wondering what it would be like to live as a feral human.

Logically, I’m aware that most probably, it would suck, as I died of disease or wild animal attack, if I managed to survive the first few years of life, anyway.  But honestly, I’m kind of surprised that there are no vacation packages (of which I’m aware) that offer people an experience to just live as an ape for a few days.  No (obvious) material comforts or technology, just a few days of camping in nice weather, where all the food you need can be picked off the trees and you get to sleep outdoors and bond with your fellow primates without any worrying about social exclusion or derision.  You could probably set it up with either a large enclosed structure, within which you set everything up, or you could try to find a small, uninhabited island and restructure it into something ideal for human camping: lots of fruit trees, as few pests as possible, fresh water for drinking and swimming, &c.

You could even have different types.  Orangutan style would be more solitary, just you alone with your own territory, while a chimpanzee or gorilla style ape-cation (Gotta work on that brand recognition!) would involve more people and a larger social aspect.  Bonobo style would obviously be adults only, but I think there’d be an audience for that, especially with everyone completely divorced from their social identities and just existing as apes.  I’d probably go for the orangutan package, myself.

I think it would be an interesting type of vacation.  What do you think?  Would you be up for it?

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2 Responses to Strange Apes

  1. charles says:

    For me, “as few pests as possible” is the key. Being eaten alive by mosquitoes while naked is not my idea of fun. Of course, to be like non-human primates, we’d have to get a fur suit so we wouldn’t be naked naked.
    I like the idea though. I think it would be very educational.

    BTW… Love the pic. I clicked on it and learned more about it and saw the full diorama. Amazing!


    • johnkutensky says:

      Isn’t it the best diorama ever?! I absolutely love it! I wish I had my own replica… I dunno, I just love apes/monkeys and art!

      Yeah, pests would be the biggest problem, but if you had a small island, you might be able to isolate it enough to you satisfaction.


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