Greek Pantheon Asks

I came across these questions on Tumblr, and I found them interesting enough to want to answer all of them myself.  If you want to answer them, too, I’d love to see your answers, either in the comments or your own post.

  • Aphrodite: What do you find attractive in a partner?
    Intelligence, a good sense of humor, and having fun with someone are the most important things to be.  I want a partner I can live the rest of my life with, after all, so having fun with them is definitely the most important, even more so than the other two.  I enjoy nothing better than just cuddling with someone, reading or watching a movie, telling jokes and making them laugh.  As for physical traits, I’ll list some of my ideal traits.  I find much, much more than these attractive, but these are just my idealized as of now.  Dark brown eyes, long, straight black hair, pale skin, East Asian, probably small to medium-sized breasts, a good handful.  Lucy Liu is probably my ideal in terms of eyes.  They’re just gorgeous.  I’m not so picky about height or weight, although I have my limits, but I wouldn’t even mind a woman taller than I, nor one a foot shorter.  So that’s a pretty big range, I guess.  I’m not really picky about a lot of details, really.  I mean, I can find very different women attractive physically and mentally.  Breasts and eyes are the two things I find most attractive on women physically, though.
  • Apollo: Favourite song?
    Holst’s “Jupiter.”  It’s just so beautiful.

  • Ares: If you had to fight someone in a duel, what would be your weapon of choice?
    Idiotically obscure historical knowledge.  Duels are stupid to begin with, anyway.  Imagine feeling that your honor is more important than your life?  A corpse has no shame, anyway.  If you die, what did you gain?  I’m sure your mourning loved ones would be so proud of your decision making skills.  So I’ll pick a non-fatal weapon, and something I’ll probably win at, to boot.
  • Artemis: Favourite animal?
    Probably the tyrannosaurus rex, if I’m allowed to include extinct animals.  If I’m stick to things that are alive and actually real, then I guess I’ll go with ducklings.  They’re so adorable, and they make every day so much better.  I love when I come across a duck pond with a little duck family.  Maybe one day if I have my own house, I can build a small pond in the yard to attract ducks to, so they can raise their babies in safety and security, and I can feed them shredded lettuce and carrots while reading.  Orangutans are right up there, too, but unfortunately, I only have limited experience with them.
  • Athena: Do you have any special talents?
    Hm, I’m not sure what counts.  I’m amazing at giving massages, I’m a good writer, I think, I’m a talented chef, I can mold Starburst candies into small animals better than average, I’d wager, I’m pretty good at building roulette wheels from parts, and I’m excellent at problem solving in general.  Nothing that would get me into the history books, but they tend to garner appreciation from people.  I think, of those, cooking is that which gets me the most praise.  I grew up baking and cooking with my mother, so a lot of it is second nature to me, but it still surprises me when people are amazed that I managed to mix ingredients together and then put it in the oven.
  • Demeter: Favourite food?
    Cheeseburgers.  It’s pretty lame, but there you have it.  I’ve been a fan for as long as I can remember, and it’s my number one ordered meal at restaurants.  Liberty Burger is probably my current favorite restaurant for them.
  • Dionysus: Favourite drink?
    Well, since this is Dionysus, I assume I’m supposed to pick something alcoholic.  For alcoholic beverages, my favorite is Lindeman’s peach lambic beer.  I was introduced to it back in college by a friend from Latin class, and it was just so delicious.  I dislike the taste of most alcohol beverages.  Beer is too hoppy, wine just tastes like vinegar to me, and most stronger things are just awful, but I do enjoy vodka and margaritas made with tequila and fruit.  Mead is another drink I like, but I’ve only ever found my favorite brand once, in one store in Rhode Island.  Lindeman’s peche lambic is my absolute favorite though.  If you ever try it, the foil is hiding both a bottlecap and a cork, though, the tricksy thing, so be prepared.  We kept forgetting back in college…
  • Hades: If you could meet a person from history, who would it be and why?
    Hm, too many options…  I guess since I’m actually going to meet them, it should be someone I’d profit from speaking to, so I’d probably pick a great thinker, probably one of the Greek philosophers or lawgivers.  Democritus, Socrates, Plato, Xenophon, Diogenes, Lycurgus: they’d all be on my list.  If I could only pick one, though, it’d be Lycurgus, though.  I think he’d be interesting and useful to speak with.
  • Hephaestus: If you could learn a skill instantly, what would you choose?
    Definitely drawing.  There aren’t a lot of things were I really feel the absence of them in my life, but being skilled at drawing is one of them.  I know I ought to just sit down and practice, practice, practice, but I can never bring myself to commit sufficiently.  It’s a shame, because I definitely have some story ideas that I think would work much better in a visual medium than written.  For a while, I got it into my head that I’d do some little comics about the New England colonies, Hetalia-style, and even wrote a few four-panel scripts for them.  Massachusetts would be the holier-than-though self-appointed queen, New Hampshire would be a fish-obsessed ditz, Connecticut would be an aristocrat, and poor Rhode Island would be the universally-disliked, money-grubbing one who’s the only one able to actually get along with the Native Americans.
  • Hera: Do you want to get married and/or have children?
    Definitely, I can’t wait!  I really want to be a father someday.
  • Hermes: Where in the world would you most like to visit?
    There are too many places I’d like to visit…  Berlin, Florence, Rome, Vienna, Budapest, Prague, Moscow, Japan, China…places I find either culturally or historically interesting.  I guess Florence would be near the top of my list, mostly due to Machiavelli, although I’d very much like to see China, too, especially Xi’an, where the terra cotta soldiers are.
  • Hestia: Where do you most want to live?
    New England, in a large college town.  I grew up in New England, and I love it there.  I’d definitely want to raise a family there someday.  Probably outside of Boston.  I love Rhode Island, but by any metric, I’d be better off raising a family in Massachusetts.
  • Poseidon: If you were shipwrecked on a tropical island, what would you want to have with you?
    Leaving aside the trivial answers of “a way off the island,” what I’d want most would be company, along with the basics for survival.  Life is hard alone.  I’d definitely want to be with a friend, preferably female, if I were to be stuck anywhere.  After that, I’d really be most concerned for my sanity, so I’d want books to read, maybe a volleyball to play with, and a lot of birth control, if my partner is female.  If I’m allowed to get a bit more proactive, I suppose with a knife and some twine, a raft would be constructable, for leaving the island, but I figure these questions always presuppose that you’re trapped there for an indefinite period of time.
  • Zeus: If you ruled the world, what would you change?
    Oh, how I wish…  I’d love to just be a mostly hands-off omnipotent tyrant, letting the world run its course until people get too corrupt, and then bam, divine lightning bolt.  If there is a god, I’m extremely disappointed in them for having less sense than a dog trainer.  Punishment should not follow after 20 years of twists and turns.  It should be immediate.  It’s all well and good to say god hates this and god hates that, but your statements would be more convincing if the omnipotent ruler of reality made someone’s heart explode and have their sins scarred into their chest whenever they commit a mortal sin, don’t you think?  Corruption, greed, apathy, these things poison society.  If I ruled the world, I’d get rid of the plutocrats who survive by bleeding dry ordinary people.  I’d want to split the world into small democracies without armies, living together in peace, and those who brought war would be punished with more divine lightning.  I’d basically be Gort.  Let people focus on the arts of peace.  I guess my ideal would be something like Spartiate society, with robots providing all the manual labor, allowing people to live simple, communal lives, with a periokoi class of people who simply can’t be satisfied by that, who could help provide the other necessary things for survival.
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